The Silence, The Disconnect
I realized in reflection of my recent trip to Cuba, there was one thing that I really loved about being there (besides, the magical sunsets and amazing dancing). It was being tuned out of the online frequencies for nearly a whole week.
In order to access the internet or even sms or voicemail, one would have to make a trek to purchase an internet card and then walk to a large commercial hotel. And once you connected, the internet was extremely slow, like 1990's slow. The whole process was so unpleasant, I chose to only check in 3 times in 7 days, mainly to check on our kitties with our cat nanny.
This limited access to the internet gave me a sense of tremendous freedom. I felt like I didn't have to be continuously responding to emails or texts or wondering why the number of messages on my phone was so massive. In fact, I rarely thought even about what time it was; which made us late to dance training twice (and for those of you that know us, we are NEVER late).
I didn't completely give up my screen access, as I still used my laptop to write daily, but what a joy it was as I wrote uninterrupted from notifications on Facebook, email and messenger. I felt like my writing had a sense of unconstrained freedom and would easily just flow through me. I felt generally more free as I went about my day, as I didn't feel that I needed to be in response in real time. And the big deal here:
There was no guilt.
I thought about that and the way technology works these days and how each of us seeks immediate responses to our impulses and offerings. And I personally can fall into the trap of feeling guilty by choosing to wait to check correspondence. It feels like I am intentionally being avoidant or running away. What I found when I interacted with my emails by choice was that it was rather nice to sit with the emails and texts and Facebook when I set aside time to thoughtfully respond or share.
My routine immediately went back to the norm when I returned home and I found myself missing the moments where I was really connected to myself and my husband and that freedom of living life. It took a day or so and I figured out that it was this guilt of constant contact through technology that came creeping back in without my realizing it.
Having this first hand experience, I can truly acknowledge how much time, energy and space tech can take from us. I've been playing with responding to correspondence only a couple times a day and I have already found myself more time for writing, reading, and studying.
Who doesn't want more time and space in their day?
Here are a few tips to get into the silence, the disconnect:
Leave your phone with your keys when you enter your home. This sets the stage for leaving work with work and home with home.
Leave your phone out of the bedroom at night. The bedroom is a space for sleeping and sharing love and connection.
Leave your phone in your purse or pocket when driving. Seriously, focus on the task at hand, getting from one place to another.
Keep the phone off the table during meals. Wouldn't it be fun to enjoy the food you are nourishing your body with and connect to the people around you?
Set aside 2-3 times a day when you can thoughtfully interact with the internet through email and social media. Make your sharing and commenting meaningful and purposeful as an extension of you.
Let go of the guilt around responding immediately or getting an immediate response. Give it time to manifest. Phones still work as phones, which means you can have a purposeful conversation at a time of your choosing and experience the resonant sounds of another human's voice. How cool is that?
Choose to claim your time and life back. There is so much more going on around us than what lives within our phone. Go experience it. Cause it's a really awesome world out there!