Getting Organized, Getting Healthy

Anyone who knows me, knows I am a visionary. Often in motion with loads of ideas, projects and creation in process. This year I'm settling into the quiet, becoming comfortable with the vulnerability in the space between and being with myself. At times, it's mucky and yucky and the thoughts in my mind cycle to no end and without much relief. 

The easy way out, is to go back to busing myself so that I don't hear the chatter and tune myself into the task at hand. But the reality is, I'm working too hard in that space. Ideas don't flow quite so easily and I find myself unable to find my footing. The quiet and the being ground me and it feels so good to have my feet planted here on earth. So, I'm going with it, muck, yuck and all.

With the start of the new year, I have had tons of clients coming in deep in the muck as well and trying to be with the quiet. Witnessing their silence, their expansion and their energy has been so beautiful. The rawness right now and marvelous and I am so honored to be an observer. As I apply that same concept, WITNESSING, to myself, I am curious and quiet.

I've found that getting pulled away from this space is pretty easy, but staying with it, staying with myself as I unfold is where I need to be. I've gone back to my old school girl organization tricks and expanded upon them in order to stay present and stay in the zone of healing.

  • Completing tasks pertinent to wherever I find myself. Many of you know, my hubby and I also own a latin dance company. I used to squeeze in dance tasks throughout the day whenever I had time. It felt like I was doing dance stuff all day and had no time for anything else. Now, in the half hour to an hour before we teach together, I get those tasks done. AND let me tell you in 15 days of the new year, I've probably done more and done it well with salsa than the last 3 months. 
  • Scheduling the really important things and sticking to the schedule. I love writing, but the time I allotted for writing in the past was the first thing I'd let go if I needed to squeeze in a client or a meeting. It made me sad. I agreed to stick with the scheduled items that are FOR ME, which is all of them because they nourish me so much!!
  • The on paper phenomenon. I am so in love with Danielle Laporte's Desire Map. Every single evening I write in preparation for my day ahead. Sure I have an online schedule, but this hand written schedule with space to reflect, prompts for my soul purpose and things I want to shift, is such a joy. When I wake up, I line myself up with the day and expand my thoughts. 
  • Limiting the to-do list. Seriously, the mile long to do list? Are you ever going to get it done? I prided myself on being a powerhouse for years and never got it done. The list is constantly, evolving and expanding and so are you. Each day I ask myself, what needs my energy today for the expansion I seek within me? This fuels my short and sweet to do list.
  • Being okay with being in process. I still have hundreds of ideas floating around, some will become, some won't, but I've found that checking in with myself and allowing the ideas that are meant to expand to expand makes me excited to share, write, and release them.
  • Dropping the concept of perfection. Everything is perfect, just the way it is. There's no really end or beginning, science allows only transformation. I'm working toward becoming more and more okay with the idea of asking when something is ready. When it's ready, even if I still want to fix and correct and adjust, I stop myself. Creation is telling me its time for expansion and time for release. It was never about how others perceived it, but rather the process of creating it. Therefore, it comes down to me, seeing the perspective of highest self, rather than ego and being with it. 
  • Finally BEING, being, not doing, at least 30% of the time. 

So, what does this have to do with getting healthy? Well, if health is the integration of our mind, body, spirit and emotion, we must consider that our mind and our emotions need nourishments just as much as our physical body. Asking our mind to work overtime for all these years isn't cool! Finding a way to let the mind serve us as it's meant to rather than through the overstimulated environment we produced is healing. With a little patience, some release work and the idea of facing oneself, we can improve the health of our mind and our being.


What if it's just a whisper?
A moment in time..
That could cease, change, morph or shift without notice.
But isn't it?
Just a moment in time..
Constantly evolving, expanding, and transforming,
without a hint of it's unfolding.
So what are we to do?
As the space becomes greater and the time slows,
Just for a moment,
It reveals itself, clearly.
We must life within the moment.
We must be present.
We must experience the moment in time.
It is Life.
Life is it.

The Change I'm Making in My Life RIGHT NOW

Traveling abroad has a way about increasing your awareness to the the amazing life you have and also sharing with you the benefits of living a life that's a little more raw and a lot more vulnerable. Each time I've been to Cuba, I have experienced an awakening of sorts with expanding my own consciousness. This recent trip was no exception.

7 days without a stitch of wifi or television. 

It was so freeing. I found my mind was quieting and focused only within the present. I loved being out of touch, yet completely connected to myself. I felt like I was in the mode of creation and authentically witnessed creation unfolding. 

When I returned home, I had an aversion toward being on my phone, checking emails and texts on rapid fire. It literally made me cringe. I was seeking the simplicity of connecting with humans, meeting up with them and being able to count on their presence and mine in interactions. 

Shortly after returning home, I got hit with a cold to end all colds. This cold is the pits! I found myself unable to be with myself. I was uncomfortable in every way and I found myself back on the phone in the scroll of it all, taking in nothing, completely disconnecting from myself and truly doing everything I could to remain out of the present moment. 

Since our beloved princess cat, Fira transitioned from her physical life in October, I've been out of touch with myself. I've found myself struggling with the doing the quiet things I love that get me centered. Meditation, self healing techniques and simply being quiet. I came into the awareness that it's so hard for me to get into that space because she was always physically there with me during these times. Even when she was sick, she loved the healings and meditation time. And so did I. 

In my Ego's effort to protect myself from experiencing what seems like a boundless sea of grief, my mind is filled with thoughts, some relevant, many not. This protection is severely limiting my from my own consciousness that comes in the silence, that comes with the space.

This morning after spending most of the night awake with this cold and choosing no matter how difficult it was to get into the slip stream of meditation, it became clear to me that I need to face myself and the emotions that are lurking in the background. 

In order for me to fully connect in to my own consciousness and the spiritual expansion I desire, I have to change the pattern of protection. I have to get vulnerable with myself and I have to let go of the crutches that allow me to hide. 

With all that said, today, I am making the choice to substantially reduce my screen time to 4 times per day, to stop chasing the thoughts that run around my brain and to commit to the morning quiet I've carved out for me, welcoming in whatever comes and honoring my baby girl as an ever present spirit and memory.

I vow to turn inwards, to look within myself and to be present with myself and life as it unfolds around me. 

2018 Intentions

This year, I wrote a list of intentions for integration in 2018. I’m not one for resolutions, but I’m huge on intentions. As I looked deeply into my own personal development: where I am, how I feel, what I know is possible and where I wish to go, I started writing. Sharing my list felt like it was in alignment, so here it is…

DEEPLY CONNECT in every conversation and interaction with humans, creatures and nature. I want to look every moment in the eye and be with it honestly and openly in order to facilitate the greatest connection possible.

TAKE TIME, however much time is necessary to express myself authentically, share completely, listen fully and take in all that others and this brilliant universe are offering to me.

DO FROM THE HEART in every circumstance. If it isn’t from my heart, there’s no point in doing it.

BE, JUST BE, at least 30% of the time with myself, my desire and whatever task might be at hand.

EXPAND in the highest and best without straying from my authenticity and knowing. 

Integrations from David Whyte

I had the immense honor of attending a leadership training with David Whyte, a brilliant poet, philosopher and speaker who has based his writings and teachings upon "the conversational nature of reality." David has a huge presence as an articulate storyteller, though provoking philosopher and truly authentic being. 

I want to start off by sharing that it was a series of opportunities in my life that I said "yes" to which led me to this amazing experience. As I sat in the beautiful room where David spoke, I reflected on how it came to be that I was so fortunate to be right here right now and I realized it started when I said "yes" to myself and my desires to expand my consciousness and presence as a human, but also to expand upon my own business and brand. Once I made that choice, there were two opportunities that took me outside of the box, one leading to the other. And to both, I chose "yes" and that landing me in the exact place I wanted to be without even knowing it. 

I'd like to share the teachings of David that were profound and meaningful to me as they may be profound and meaningful to you as well.  

One of the most impactful statements that David said was "Once I let go of my story, I didn't have to compromise myself at all." He shares that we must stop having the conversation you're having right now that you've always been having. The real parts, if any, he assures will come back to you. He encourages that we have the right to ask interesting, curious questions. And we have the right to take a long time to name something. When we stop the conversation of now and get into the new horizon something really beautiful happens to us and we become delightfully surprised in our life. 

I started to think about this idea of stopping the conversation that we are having right now. And I came to the realization that there are conversations I want to stop having with myself. The first conversation is that "there is not enough time or resources" and the second is "that I am not enough" and the final conversation is "eventually I will have what I am desiring." 

As I pondered this lecture and went through the loss of our beloved kitty, I was instantly jolted with time and space. I realized that the illusion of not having enough time was something I created because all of a sudden, despite what seemed like more responsibility, I had all the time in the world. And I realized that time is available to me each day, but it requires continuously choosing to be present in the conscious conversations. 

I also spend time with the conversation of not being enough and decided it was time, once and for all to throw that statement out the window. It is absolutely not possible to be in alignment with my inner being and at the same time be convincing myself that I should be more. I am and that is more than enough. 

The third conversation and facet that I had to take a good look at was "EVENTUALLY". I have this very distinct nature and ability to be VERY okay with something coming to life or creation or manifestation eventually. In fact, I realized I often feel safer allowing that super big desire to sit way over there while I hang out here and admire it. I'm sure you can smell it, there's fear there. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the unknown.

David's next HUGE statement for me was to create a relationship with the radical unknown. He said to be okay with being on the edge. If we follow the path of robust vulnerability, we make the invitation for consciousness and deep conversation. He goes on to say that our true desires often lie underneath the surface promises that we make to ourselves and that it is time to let go and embrace.

I realized I was making an implicit promise to myself that staying in the same place was not only what I wanted but exactly what I was striving toward by being constantly okay with eventually and EVENTUALLY NEVER COMING. The relationship with the unknown puts one into a continuous state of vulnerability and that is truly the only place from which we can experience authentic life. 

This experience was a life changer for me and I am excitedly having new conversations with myself and consciously building my relationship with the unknown. This space feels really really good. 

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