On my second outing with my now husband, he said to me, "We can talk about anything you want, except the weather!" I thought to myself, oh, boy, this is going to be an interesting day and it sure was! My beloved insisted upon talking about only the things that really mattered, he wanted to learn about me, rather than talk about things on the surface of our existence!
This was a super refreshing experience and the level of conversation we shared was deep, thoughtful, heartfelt and profound.
The funny thing about this process was that we'd only just met but were having conversations that I would have with only my closest friends. We shared a special connection, of course, but taking the distractions and superficiality off the table led to a deep, fulfilling space.
We touched really vulnerable spaces about our dreams, our fears and our life paths.
I kept thinking to myself on this outing that lasted for several hours, how pleasant it was, safe it felt, and genuine to get to know someone this way. Whether they turn out to be your life partner, a friend or just someone you shared a moment in time with, embracing the connection you share for any given time period is always going to offer you a much more authentic experience than talking about the weather or the road construction or any other common conversation.
From this point, I started thinking about every singling conversation I had with someone and really starting to mean my words when I asked "how are you?" and to answer the question when asked of me truthfully and presently.
Instead of saying, "I'm good and you?" I started to say things like "I am so honored to be spending this time with you today" or "I am feeling really great, I'm excited to have time in my garden" or even "I'm feeling a little vulnerable today because I am teaching my first class".
I found that this shift in my approach toward communication allowed me to embrace connection.
At home, we still never talk about the weather, okay, almost never. I personally love the nourishment the sunshine after the rain brings. But, overall, we continue to keep our conversations deep and vulnerable. And when there's nothing to say, we take a lot of pleasure in the silence in being together, sharing space and energy.